Bad Bridesmaid by Portia Macintosh

If you haven't worked it out by now, I'm just really good at faking it. 


Title - Bad Bridesmaid
Author - Portia Macintosh
Publisher - Carina (Harlequin UK)
Publication Date - August 22nd 2014
Format - eBook (Provided via Netgalley)

The blurb

'My wedding is ruined and my marriage is going to fail. And it's all your fault!'

LA romcom writer Mia Valentina has it all; money, success, a tanned and toned body, golden blonde hair and a string of sexy lovers. She's almost forgotten her previous self: plain old Mia Harrison. Until a wedding invitation arrives and requesting (demanding!) her presence as chief bridesmaid at her younger sister Belle's upcoming nuptials. 

Mia's barely been back in England before she's accidentally injured the groom, unintentionally 'cursed' the wedding and been caught in a compromising position with her sister's soon to be brother-in-law! 

With the wedding of the year going dangerously off the rails, Mia has no time to waste - especially with sexy fireman and best man Leo on hand to help... Will she use all of her expert romance knowledge to save the day or will she just walk away? No one ever said a bad girl had to turn good...

Becca's thoughts

THIS-WAS-INCREDIBLE.

Firstly, a huge thank you to Portia Macintosh for inviting me to read her newest title Bad Bridesmaid. I was over the moon when I saw the email from Portia sitting in my inbox, and felt honoured that she had taken the time to get in touch with me and personally ask me if I wanted to read it. Hell to the bloody yes I wanted to read it, and I am OVER THE MOON that I did, because readers, let me tell you, this is THE funniest, naughtiest, and at times cringiest (made-up word) book that I have read this year. I was laughing. I was snorting. I was shaking my head. I was scrunching my face up. It was just EVERYTHING that I hoped it would be, and then so much more. Seriously, Portia, I cannot rate Bad Bridesmaid enough. *Cue the rambling review where I make no sense whatsoever*

In Bad Bridesmaid, we meet Mia Valentina. Living in a swanky pad in LA, and a script-writer for rom-com movies, she has it all. The money. The looks. Her life is pretty much perfect, until she is invited back to England for her younger sister Belle's wedding. She may write some of the most romantic moments for the big screen, but Mia is so not into romance and love and relationships, it's not even funny. She doesn't believe in love at first sight, she doesn't believe in settling down and having children, and she cannot believe that her younger sister is choosing to do just that. Love? No thank you. 

Cut short, because I just really want to get to the part where I go on and on about how much I loved Bad Bridesmaid, Mia heads back to England to attend the wedding of the year, but from the minute she steps off the train and is greeted by her sister and her sister's husband-to-be, things begin to very swiftly go downhill. No, in fact, they begin to ROCKET downhill. And it is, without a doubt, one of the most enjoyable plots that I have had the pleasure of reading. 

Firstly, the humour. MY GOD. Out of all of the books that I have read (and that's a lot), I do not think that I have found an author that can really make me laugh the way Portia did with Bad Bridesmaid. I'm not talking about a little titter here and there, I am talking about full-on, tears in the eyes, laughing so hard that my stomach began to hurt kind of laughter. Mia's character has the exact same sense of humour as me. It's sarcastic, sometimes inappropriate, and left to fall flat a lot of the time, but I swear to God, I was sobbing into my pillow at 2 o'clock in the morning because it was that funny. It's not just Mia's character that got to me, it was the entire scenario. Let me paint the image. Mia hasn't always been a glamorous, hot young woman. In fact, before she moved away to LA, she was fat and boring, and her younger sister Belle grabbed all of the attention, and she still does to this day. When Mia moved away, she decided to recreate herself. She lost weight. She ate healthy. She dyed her hair. And basically readers, she became 100% HOT. Mia's family all seem to have a problem with her, and when things begin to go terribly wrong in the lead-up to the big day, all blame is thrown in poor Mia's direction. Everything, and I mean everything, is blamed on her. The things that Mia came out with, the things that she did, I just couldn't believe it, and therefore, I laughed, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop. It's also Portia's writing style. It's just immense! She is out-there, and genuine, and straight to the point, and it added heaps to Mia's character. There were scenarios where I could just imagine the scene perfectly in my head. For example, girls. If you have long hair, then you can probably agree with me that sometimes, going to the hairdressers for a simple cut can turn into an absolute nightmare. For Mia Valentina, this is also true. I'm going to just use a tiny extract from the book to show you what I mean by the style and humour used. I'm sure we can all relate. This is Mia's trip to the hair salon. She tells her mother time and time again on the way there that she does not need anything doing to her hair, but her mother insists that Mia goes along with it, just to keep the bride-to-be happy. I was crying. Tears from laughter were streaming down my face at this point. 

'It's a bit... orange,' I say, my manners getting the better of me. What I want to do is hit her over the head with that mirror she's holding and yell: 'you stupid bitch, you've given me clown hair!'

Hahaha, I'm giggling again as I'm reading it back to myself. There are just so many brilliant parts to touch upon in this story! The wedding cake, the groom getting a late-night treat, Mia being a bad-influence, a sex ban, the hen-do, the bridesmaid dress. It really was a fantastically f****d-up ball of wedding madness and I cannot put into words how much I freaking enjoyed it. 

Mia's character herself is not normally someone that I would get along with. Let's face it. She's a b****, she even admits it herself, countless times. She sleeps around, she walks around half-naked most of the time, and she kicks men out of her the bed faster that you can say the word, 'orgasm,' but do you know what? Despite all of that, I could not help but to love the girl. When she first talks about heading home for Belle's wedding, I really didn't get why she was being so damn negative about it, and I wanted to shake her up and force her to smile and be happy, but from the minute she arrived home and her family began to cut into her, that was it. I was on her side completely. You begin to understand why Mia is the way she is, and I couldn't help but sympathise with the girl. She isn't actually all that bad. In fact, she is an absolute barrel of laughs. The things she has to put up, I am totally not surprised that she acts and talks the way that she does. She has one hell of an attitude problem but she pulls it off effortlessly. She's cheeky, flirty, sarcastic, and very, very naughty, and all of that combined made for one hell of a read. 

If that isn't enough to make you want to read Bad Bridesmaid, then let me reel you in a little bit further. In the big beach house that everyone is staying in for the big day, not only including Mia's family, but the groom's family, as well as other family members, there are a number of mischievous wedding guests to be introduced to. Mia's disapproving mother and Gran, Dan's snobbish mother, Belle's friends that once bullied Mia when they were back in school, Mia's aunty and uncle, and her younger cousins too. And how on earth could I forget the absolutely GORGEOUS Leo, who just so happens to be a fireman? Holy hot damn. He was fiiiiiiiiine. He had the body of a God, all muscles and huge biceps, and of course the sizzling chemistry between Leo and Mia just added another layer of fun and naughtiness to entire story.

Readers, I am not kidding you when I say this split my sides. I could not contain the bubbles of laughter that arose almost constantly. My love for the main character was one that I really did not expect to exist, but by the end of it, I wanted to be Mia's best-friend. She drew me into the story of her little sister's wedding and despite the constant bickering and fighting between the two of them, you could tell that there was also love. There are a whole heap of exciting things going on in this story, not just the wedding, but other characters lives are pulled up by the author for you to get a glimpse into. It's fast-paced, it's enjoyable, I just couldn't stop reading. I was dragged into Mia's world and forced to feel everything that she felt. Weddings make a plot fun anyway, but Mia made this wedding a whole lot naughtier, and I just loved watching her sticking her foot in it repeatedly. 

Without a doubt, Bad Bridesmaid by the brilliant Portia Macintosh is receiving FIVE cupcakes from me. I adored everything about it. Mia Valentina, I freaking love you! 


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