Christmas on Becca's Books | Best and Worse Christmas Presents by Cassandra Giovanni

~ Best and Worse Christmas Presents ~

By Cassandra Giovanni

Christmas can be pretty awesome as a kid, but as an adult…well, it can just get awkward. Instead of cool gifts from grandma—you have to do a Yankee Swap. Oh, the wonder of the Yankee Swap. Now, that is the best way to see the best and worst Christmas presents ever; I mean ever.
Every year we have a Yankee Swap at my work, and each year it results in some of the most tragic gifts ever. That’s kind of the fun of it in a way. If you get that perfect number and get to pick first and last, you’re golden – but if you’re the second to last person, you can pretty much kiss your bag of nips goodbye.
So what are the best gifts for the Yankee Swap? Adult Christmas? Candy and alcohol. And there’s always a lot of that that gets received during the swamp, but then there’s those people who perhaps forgot until last minute and bought some things from the gas station—like a giant thing of slim jims, or the person who thought they were being very funny…and brought Elf on the Shelf.
Elf on the Shelf. Seriously, the worst Christmas present ever.
And the creepiest. I mean who thought it would be a fabulous idea to get a toy, hide it on your children, and then tell them the elf is spying on them – everywhere. Everywhere! I mean “he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake” wasn’t creepy enough? Now we have a little skinny elf with a creepy smile staring at us all the time? I get why it makes kids be good; I mean it’s scary! Where’s the Elf – who knows! He’s watching you, though! And then bam you turn around and the thing is hiding in the knife drawer. *Cues axe murderer music*
The only thing creepier than the Elf on the Shelf is the Cat in the Hat, or claymation. Those are a dead tie for things I dislike the most, right behind that creepy elf.
Best Presents:
1.      Bag of Nips
2.      Tequila
3.      Wine
4.      Candles
5.      Starbucks Card
Worst Presents:
1.      Elf on the Shelf
2.      Giant Bell
3.      Slim Jims
4.      Cat in the Hat -- anything
5.      Nightmare Before Christmas movie.
Thank goodness I got the slim jims last year. That elf… now, I’m just praying that no one reads this and tomorrow I come into work and have one of those things staring at me—or even worst…the Cat in the Hat.
PS. Sorry if the Elf on the Shelf is a cherished family tradition…for me, it’s obviously not. I prefer eggnog, cookies and carrots out for Santa and his reindeer.

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