Christmas on Becca's Books | 'The Disastrous Christmas of 87' by Lucy Robinson

~ 'The Disastrous Christmas of 87' ~


By Lucy Robinson

The Robinson family Christmas of 1987 started off quite well. We gathered on my parents' bed, like we did every Christmas morning, and exchanged gifts. I didn't get a Mr Frosty - yet again - but I did get some very cool stuff, including a handbag that I am still using to this day, and a thick padded velvet Alice band, BECAUSE IT WAS THE EIGHTIES. 

When we ventured downstairs things began to go downhill. Both cats and the dog were lying on the kitchen floor looking both desperately guilty and desperately sick. This was because, while Santa was delivering presents down the chimney, our delinquent crowd of beasts were busy devising an ingenious way of breaking into the fridge. 

They had eaten our entire turkey. It was raw. I am not joking. How they escaped death - any of them - is quite beyond me. 

Luckily, there was still some steak left that my Mum had bought so we could have steak frites on boxing day. 'We'll have a Belgian-style lunch,' she announced, and filled up the chip pan with oil. A short while later a major chip pan fire broke out in our kitchen. My folks were swearing, trying to organise a wet towel. The smoke detector went off at ear-splitting volume, propelling my sister and I out of the front door, screaming. The dog, who had hitherto been in both disgrace and a coma in his bed, suddenly came back to life and went galloping out of the house, disappearing off into the woods. The cats, meanwhile, ate the steak, and our neighbours called the Fire Brigade. 

Later, after a lunch of toast and Christmas pudding, we all spent several hours trying to find the dog, who was quaking under a fallen branch. He refused to come back into our house, and I really can't say I blame him.

That was 1987.


Lucy worked in theatre and then television documentaries before starting a blog for Marie Claire about her laughably unsuccessful foray into the world of online dating. She did not meet a man during this time but she did become a novelist: every cloud has a silver lining. She now lives in Bristol with her partner, The Man, whom she met when she took off to Buenos Aires to become a bohemian writer in 2010. She still works in television when time permits and does a lot of walking and strange healthy cooking.

You can find Lucy Robinson on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | lucy-robinson.co.uk



4 comments :

  1. Fun start to Christmas on the blog, Becca. What's Christmas without some hilarious stories and shenanigans to replay and create new ones. Merry Christmas to you, Lucyn and the Man. πŸŽ„πŸŽπŸŽ‚

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    1. Thanks so much, Bee! And I agree, nothing like some festive shenanigans to remember fondly in years to come!
      Becca xox

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  2. What a Christmas! I hope they've all gone better since then!

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